Stranger Danger

Last night was funny. Bailey pup decided to howl. It was such a odd howl, as his often are. I thought it was hubby making fun of him.
I was able to use my Bluetooth hearing aids to listen to my novel yesterday as I edited. It left a major headache.
In Bending the Bars, which should have never needed writing, I talk about Ruby’s Law. It is a start. Not enough. Her law allows people to escape their abusers with their children. They can legally leave the state and live in a fenced in area where they can recover from their abuse. Many will never leave. They feel safer inside than outside.
I dream of the day the first child is born that will never meet anyone who has been abused. That will be at least a century. Abuse, particularly sexual abuse, runs rampant in this country, in our world.
Until we have laws that will protect the victims, not the abusers, it will.
We need two aspects to that law:
1. Women (and children) can smack the abuser at the first touch.
It has been proven that when a male first begins his first grooming tactics on his first victim, if she physically stops him, 9 out of 10 will not become abusers.
2. Children need to be taught about bad touch. Used to be called stranger danger. And while strangers are a danger, 95% of abusers are family members, family friends, or others known to a child. They begin grooming children for abuse, often from the moment they are born. By the time they reach school age, most teachers can recognize which children have been groomed for sexual abuse. Even if full sexual abuse has yet to occur.
3. Sex abusers know they can get away with their crimes. Forever. And, they can give their victims deadly diseases. Also, by abusing one person, they open up an entire network of that person’s contacts, family, friends, co-workers to potential abuse. Abuse never ends with one victim. We need a justice system that will attack the problem. The system we have now, allows the abusers access to their victims. And they know they will never be safe as long as the abuser is alive. If the abusers were tried, convicted, and sentenced within 48 hours of an attack, more would be reported.
I long for a day when a woman can walk anywhere she wants without fear of sexual attack. There is no reason for these attacks. 99% are never reported. The survivors often bury them. Forget them. Hide them. Lash out at others. They know there is no hope of their attacker being brought to justice. Now, they even brag about sex abuse on national tv. They know they won’t go to jail.
And so it continues.
One abuser can create thousands of victims in one lifetime. Of those thousands, many will become abusers themselves. Even if they don’t, they often live a life of fear and hiding. Which affects every person they come in contact with.
We need stricter laws. Sadly, the sex offender laws have been loosened in the last few decades. That has led to many issues. Offenses against another person’s body need to be taken seriously. As an offense against life. It is a form of murder. As it murders self-esteem, self-respect, hope, dreams, and the future of the victim, and the dozens of people in their lives.

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