Women’s History Month – Rowe Versus Wade

Works Cited: All Accessed on 02/23/17

The Roe versus Wade case was decided in January of 1973.  It is being fought in the streets (and courts) again, two generations later.

It took 3 years to determine if women had the right to choose an abortion, and at what point during the pregnancy abortions were no longer considered legal.

At a time when an understanding of genetics was just beginning to be proven, many people recognized the dangers of child being born from rape and incest, which accounted for the majority of abortions.

Even today, the majority of abortions are for young women, many whom have been in sexual relationships since pre-teen years with male family members.  It is not uncommon for the young woman to have no memory of the sexual contact, they are often groomed and drugged during the experiences.  Even if the young woman is no longer with her abuser, she may still be in an abusive relationship which leads to her having no control over the choice of sex or not.

There are a small subset of women who may choose abortion when they are poor, simply because they do not have the money to support a pregnancy, even if they work full time.  That isn’t their failing.  That is societies failing.  Full time work should support a family.

Rowe Versus Wade gave women a chance to protect themselves against the men who choice to force their bodies on them without permission.  Today, those men are more aggressive, and are fighting to regain total control over women’s bodies.  Most women who have an abortion never had any say so in the choice to get pregnant.  When we take away the ability to protect themselves, and society, from the abusers choices, we threaten society with generations of children out of control, and more violent than any we have seen in decades.

Rather than punish the women (and preteen girls) for the rest of their lives, we need to punish the men who do these things to them.

http://womenshistory.about.com/od/abortionuslegal/p/roe_v_wade.htm

For further information check the CDC site:  https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/data_stats/index.htm

Bending the Bars

Book Title: Bending the Bars

Genre: Abuse Survival (case studies)
Age: Adult

Anne’s story need never be written.  If existing law had protected Anne, Ruby’s Law would never have been written.  Instead, Jo and Lennie begin a 20 year trek to find and rescue Anne from her abuser.  Along the way, Ruby’s senator sister pens a law that would have protected Ruby’s kidnapped children, and Anne.  They rescue hundreds of other women, children, and the occasional man.  Often, the survivors have known no other life.  They have been conditioned to believe abuse is normal.  Can the New Underground Railroad Project stay on track to train abuse survivors to live abuse-free on their own?  Or will they remain behind the legal bars that protect them from their abusers?

Other notes:

Bending the Bars is a journey though recognition of abusers, and survivors in the United States. It recognizes how the laws protect the abusers at the expense of the abused. It also conveys reasons why so many stay when they are abused.  They often feel there is no escape. Often, there isn’t.  If they have children, they have to leave without them, potentially condemning their children to worse than if they stay.  Legally.  It shouldn’t be that way.  Ruby’s Law is a weak start to grant safety to survivors, and a place to bend the bars of abuse, without breaking the survivors.

Keywords
#Abusesurvival, #dysfunctionalfamilies, #religiousabuse, #abusesurvivorlaw, #abusesurvivorrecovery, #co-dependency, #self-esteem, #BodyLanguage&NonverbalCommunication, #PTSD, #crime, #legalsystem, #domesticviolence

Keywords
Abuse survival, dysfunctional families, religious abuse, abuse survivor law, abuse survivor recovery, co-dependency, self-esteem, Body Language & Nonverbal Communication, PTSD, crime, legal system, domestic violence

Bending the Bars Fence.jpg

 

 

Amazon (ASIN: B06VVNW5XR) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06VVNW5XR

Apple I books (1206001161 ) https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/bending-the-bars/id1206001161

Barnes Noble

6 x 9 https://tsw.createspace.com/title/6939263
Create Space (ISBN-13: ISBN-13: 978-1543151978 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1543151973)

7 X 10 https://tsw.createspace.com/title/6939274
Large Print – ISBN-13: ISBN-13: 978-1543152036 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1543152031

Digital 2 Draft (co-publishes at) (9781386437451): https://draft2digital.com/book/223168
24 Symbols
Inktera
Scribd
Tolino

Kobo (1230001546293 ) https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/bending-the-bars-1

Goodreads  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34304993-bending-the-bars

Smashwords (co-publishes at): (9781370498086) https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/704008

Baker Taylor Axis
Baker Taylor Blio
Cloud Library
Gardner Libraries (Askews & Holts (A&H) and VLeBooks)
Library Direct
Odilo
OverDrive
Tolino
txtr
Yuzu

The Stork Mis-Delivered – Twice

The Stork Mis-Delivered – Twice

Short Description

Mistie Jolin dreams of a future like the ones she has read about. Her past won’t get her there. Only escape will. She uncovers secrets that will haunt her, and hundreds of others. She must face her fears, the past, and those she has come to trust. Her hope is that they will allow her to recover and become a real person, rather than the shadow that creeps on the wall and follows her every move.

Long Description

Mistie Jolin dreams of a future like the ones she has read about in books. Her past won’t get her there. Only escape will. College goes downhill when she realizes health care isn’t available to students with real medical needs. The army is her last hope. Once there, she is pulled back into a past better buried, to uncover secrets she never dreamed existed. Secrets that will haunt her, and hundreds of others till they die. She must face her fears, the past, and those she has come to trust. Her hope is that they will allow her to recover and become a real person, rather than the shadow that creeps on the wall and follows her every move.

The Stork Mis-Delivered – Twice is a tale that could have happened. Many aspects have happened to many young girls, women, and even men. This is a violent tale. One that looks at the generational damage caused by abuse, neglect, and pain. There is no easy answer as to why survivors do not escape. Often, they’ve no where to go. While any of these events could have occurred, this tale is not based on any real life, or combination of lives.

Rating: R.
Profanity: Obvious, unprinted.
Romance: None.
Sex: Off the page. Acknowledged. Violent acts acknowledged as well.
Violence: Alluded to. Court case that covers child sex abuse victims.
Originally written: 2010.

POV Character: Mistie Jolin
Length: 80,000 words

Keywords: 012916 Stork.jpg

 

Amazon (ASIN: B06WVBZVQB) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06WVBZVQB

Apple I books (1206051809) https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-stork-mis-delivered-twice/id1206051809

Barnes Noble
6 x 9 https://tsw.createspace.com/title/6939384
Create Space (ISBN-13: ISBN-13: 978-1543152845 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1543152848  )

7 X 10 https://tsw.createspace.com/title/6939388
Large Print – ISBN-13:978-1543152920 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1543152929

Digital 2 Draft (co-publishes at) (9781386817253): https://draft2digital.com/book/223206
24 Symbols
Inktera
Scribd
Tolino

Goodreads  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34305975-the-stork-mis-delivered—twice

Kobo (1230001546507 ) https://writinglife.kobobooks.com/ebooks#ebookdetails/general?bookId=75b71b43-bacf-48bf-bc0e-d702b6f438e6

Smashwords (co-publishes at): (9781370698851) https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/704039

Baker Taylor Axis
Baker Taylor Blio
Cloud Library
Gardner Libraries (Askews & Holts (A&H) and VLeBooks)
Library Direct
Odilo
OverDrive
Tolino
txtr
Yuzu

PTSD

Today’s post is about PTSD.
A horrible disorder. Yet, it also saves lives, as it allows people (and animals) to recognize dangers, and potentially deadly situations.
Last night, some unknown distant neighbor decided to play with their shotgun for half an hour.
Bailey doesn’t do well with gunshots, or thunder.
In fact, last night, he shook so hard, and so long, he drooled all over the bed, and panted as if they were next to his ear. Even though he is a hyper food motivated dog, he wouldn’t take a treat to get his calming medicine. I had to put the pill down his throat, and it still took over an hour before he relaxed.
We shouldn’t have to medicate our rescue dog because someone wants to play with guns. There is no reason to be playing with guns around here. Too many homes.
What exactly is PTSD? PTSD is a hyper awareness to certain triggers, or signals that may, or may not represent a danger to a person, or animal.
Most people recognize PTSD in the military. In fact, there was a frightening Twilight Zone episode about it. I think that episode represents when PTSD goes unrecognized, and is made fun of by those around the sufferer. I haven’t seen it in over 30 years. However, it is as clear as if I saw it ten minutes ago.
Which is what PTSD does to the brain.
It puts the sufferer right back into that time, situation, and circumstances, as if no time had passed. If the precipitating event occurred when the person was young, and physically healthy, it is technically possible, that their reaction to a PTSD trigger could be at the same velocity, and intensity as the event itself. Even if 50 or 60 years have passed.
Anyone can suffer from PTSD. Car accidents, seeing a car accident, domestic violence, child abuse, sexual abuse, and combat are all legitimate causes of PTSD. These events also affect the animals around us.
The triggers are there for a reason. They protect us from being in the situation again. They warn us to avoid, or escape, before a situation escalates to dangerous levels.
Sights, sounds, smells, textures, lighting, buildings, and so much more can be a trigger. Often, it is a combination of these events and situations that trigger a PTSD event.
PTSD events should never be taken lightly, or made fun of. For most, they create a fight or flight situation. In the Twilight Zone episode, the former combat veteran grabbed a gun and shot a bar room full of customers and employees because he PTSD made him think he was back at war in a major battle in, I think it was Vietnam.
As the episode shows, the person experiencing an episode does not see, hear, or feel their current surroundings. They are instantly returned to that time and place. The man stands up from his table seat. The bar walls turn into a jungle. The customers and employees transform before his eyes into the enemies he once fought. After the battle, he walks out. The scene returns to the bar room. With the results of a gun fight when only one person had a gun.
PTSD can be treated. Sometimes. If the originating event is a car crash, or fireworks, or something similar, treatment may include becoming accustomed to the trigger, much as phobias of spiders are treated.
However, for those who have PTSD due to abuse, this is not an acceptable practice. Normalization of abuse should never be used to treat PTSD. Our bodies react to the hidden signals of abuse in a different way. For their safety, and the safety of everyone, abuse victims need to keep that recognition. Victims of abuse do not need to be further victimized. That very recognition can be used when trying to determine if others have been abused.
In general, abuse victims with PTSD do not lash out. They try to hide, cry, become compliant, and quiet. Out of body experiences are not uncommon. Which is why they may not later remember the abuse of the abuser, except in triggering situations. Very difficult to treat.
So what happened to our Beautiful Baby Bailey Boy? Why is he terrified to go outdoors between 5pm and 10 pm? Why is he so frightened of gunshots? He is a Beagle and Boxer mix. Why is he so frightened of thunder? Is there any way to treat him, other than to medicate when we know there are going to be thunderstorms or fireworks?

Stockholm Syndrome.

Today’s post is about Stockholm Syndrome.
A devastating syndrome, in which victims sympathize with their abusers.
This was first recognized and studied in victims of bank robberies and such types of events.
It was later categorized to explain why victims stay with their abusers, and refuse to leave.
We see the symptoms of it everyday. They have been increasing in the last two decades. Someone will be talking, and they will go into a trance-like state, say something nonsensical, or self-abusing, and then shake their head and return to semi-normal conversation.
Sometimes these victims, mostly women, escape their abusers for a time. It may be months. It may be years. Usually, some well meaning other victim, often a family member, or friend, pulls them back into the pack of abused women.
This is mostly about women. Though, it can occur in anyone, particularly any minority or disabled person, whom society values as less than a full person.
One way to recognize this, is someone who does not value themselves. Who does not respect themselves. Who does not recognize their value. One who does not respect the value of others, by pushing their abusers values onto those in their care.
If you don’t respect yourself, you can’t respect others. Women should be valued. Their value is worth more than any paper money can replace.
Sadly, too many see themselves as less than.
That is extremely mentally and physically unhealthy.
As a society we need healthy people of all ages, regardless of gender and ethnicity. People who value themselves enough to want to live to help others.
Without self-value, there is no room for valuing others.
Without self-care, they is no ability to care for others.
Without self-worth, there is no ability to see the difference anyone can make.
Without self-trust, there is no trust in others.
With no self-respect, one cannot respect others.

The Stork Mis-Delivered – Twice and Benidn ghte Bars

Bending the Bars and The Stork Mis-Delivered – Twice are now available in ebook format.
These novels combat domestic abuse and sex offenders. Something that has run rampant in the last twenty years. This is a serious social ill that should have been eradicated thousands of years ago.
Humans are the only species that would consider sexual interest in a female who is not of child bearing age.
Sadly, our laws protect the abusers rather than the survivors.
In addition, the laws, courts, and society further enact victim blaming against the survivor – often denying them family, friends, jobs, a safe place to live, and all rights as a person to their privacy, access to food, water, clothing, or shelter.
Sad.
Someday, humans may decide to treat people as equals, and actually allow abusers to be properly removed from society.
Were they once abused? Often.
Yet, for every abuser left in a community, they create thousands more.

Stranger Danger

Last night was funny. Bailey pup decided to howl. It was such a odd howl, as his often are. I thought it was hubby making fun of him.
I was able to use my Bluetooth hearing aids to listen to my novel yesterday as I edited. It left a major headache.
In Bending the Bars, which should have never needed writing, I talk about Ruby’s Law. It is a start. Not enough. Her law allows people to escape their abusers with their children. They can legally leave the state and live in a fenced in area where they can recover from their abuse. Many will never leave. They feel safer inside than outside.
I dream of the day the first child is born that will never meet anyone who has been abused. That will be at least a century. Abuse, particularly sexual abuse, runs rampant in this country, in our world.
Until we have laws that will protect the victims, not the abusers, it will.
We need two aspects to that law:
1. Women (and children) can smack the abuser at the first touch.
It has been proven that when a male first begins his first grooming tactics on his first victim, if she physically stops him, 9 out of 10 will not become abusers.
2. Children need to be taught about bad touch. Used to be called stranger danger. And while strangers are a danger, 95% of abusers are family members, family friends, or others known to a child. They begin grooming children for abuse, often from the moment they are born. By the time they reach school age, most teachers can recognize which children have been groomed for sexual abuse. Even if full sexual abuse has yet to occur.
3. Sex abusers know they can get away with their crimes. Forever. And, they can give their victims deadly diseases. Also, by abusing one person, they open up an entire network of that person’s contacts, family, friends, co-workers to potential abuse. Abuse never ends with one victim. We need a justice system that will attack the problem. The system we have now, allows the abusers access to their victims. And they know they will never be safe as long as the abuser is alive. If the abusers were tried, convicted, and sentenced within 48 hours of an attack, more would be reported.
I long for a day when a woman can walk anywhere she wants without fear of sexual attack. There is no reason for these attacks. 99% are never reported. The survivors often bury them. Forget them. Hide them. Lash out at others. They know there is no hope of their attacker being brought to justice. Now, they even brag about sex abuse on national tv. They know they won’t go to jail.
And so it continues.
One abuser can create thousands of victims in one lifetime. Of those thousands, many will become abusers themselves. Even if they don’t, they often live a life of fear and hiding. Which affects every person they come in contact with.
We need stricter laws. Sadly, the sex offender laws have been loosened in the last few decades. That has led to many issues. Offenses against another person’s body need to be taken seriously. As an offense against life. It is a form of murder. As it murders self-esteem, self-respect, hope, dreams, and the future of the victim, and the dozens of people in their lives.