Sexual Assault Awareness Month Day of Action

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Sexual assault is something that should not occur. It does exist however. In fact, the majority of women are sexual assault survivors at some point in their lives.

Whether they will admit it, or not. Many don’t recognize the abuse when it happens, or even later.  They explain it away.  Which is called Stockholm Syndrome. And a variety of other conditions play a role in the refusal to recognize the abuse. Including being conditioned to think it is normal behavior.

It doesn’t usually just happen  In most cases, there is sexual harassment before the assault. That may begin moments before, or years before the assault. If only moments before, the victim is more likely to recognize the danger. Especially if the person is a stranger. Though they may not have a chance to escape (jobs, shopping, medical care).

However, often, sexual assault begins in childhood, by people known to the child, and often, their family.  The sexual harassment begins with touches, and comments that seem typical, and acceptable behavior between often the adult and a child.  Spread out over years, people don’t notice the escalation of behaviors, like they do when the harassment is skipped.

Although it should not exist, it does.

I’ve written two books on the subject of surviving sexual assault and other forms of abuse.  Both books delve into multiple stories as to why it occurs, how it is hidden, and how the minds of survivors may work.  As no two cases are identical, no two survivors have the same outcomes.  Some realize they are victims and try to escape.  Others refuse to accept that they are victims, and may even stay with their abuser for life.  Most, fall somewhere in between on a continuum of surviving sexual assault.

Bending the Bars

Laws currently protect #abusers. Survivors abandon children, condemning them to worse abuse. Ruby’s Law is a weak start, a chance to bend the bars of abuse, without breaking the survivors. Legal limbo, safe from #abusers, surrounded by other survivors, little hope of full recovery. Few make it beyond the bars where Ruby’s Law protects #Survivors and their children. #StockholmSyndrome #Abusers stalk. #DomesticViolence #PTSD #CoDependency https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06VVNW5X https://books2read.com/BendingtheBars

The Stork Mis-Delivered – Twice

Mistie Jolin repressed childhood abuse. She awakens haunting fear to save others. Will Mistie to recover become a real person, rather than a shadow that creeps and follows on the wall? There is no easy answer as to why survivors do not escape. Often, they’ve no where to go. Generational damage caused by abuse, neglect, and pain leads to Stockholm Syndrome. #DomesticViolence #AbuseSurvivor #PTSD #SexualAssault https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06WVBZVQB https://books2read.com/Stork

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Bending the Bars – Domestic Violence

Bending the Bars is almost done.
This novel is a composite of millions of abuse studies. They occur every day in this country. Most to women and children. And the occasional man.
While no story matches one real case, all have elements of dozens of cases.
Women abused by the system – lack of healthcare, lack of transportation, religions, husbands, boyfriends, sex offenders, brothers, fathers, even their own mothers.
There are a few male cases included. I tried to match the number of male cases to the known numbers of males abused by others, and the known types of abuse most common to males.
I had hoped never to have to write this novel. It began 15+ years ago. There had been hope, as sex offenses had been made illegal.
Now, sadly, they are legal again. So the novel must be shared, so that everyone can see the multi-generational effects of abuse on the individual, and how one single abuser can morph into thousands in only a few generations.